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My therapist called you a fierce protector of me this morning, and my lil heart exploded ✨🌇 • Showed him my life here, pointing to things as we walked — mulled aloud at some point “I never thought I’d be back here with anyone.” • Well you have commitment issues, he said offhandedly — like it’s a known. • I asked if he knew that — or was assuming. • He looked at me like I was daft. Yes Linds, I know that. I don’t care. But, yes, I know you do — • And we both smiled. • I’m a handful, a commitment phobe, defensive and occasionally erratic— and then I’m the opposite of all those things, and sometimes only slight versions. • he’s particular — and well, I’ll let him fill in the blanks at his own time and as he chooses. • We argue strongly and make up strongly. • But how I love you always; a feeling of safety as I share this part of my life with him; will wander the streets with you forever 💛🌇 • • #nyc #recovery #edfam #edfamily #projectheal #mentalhealth #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #relationships #amwriting #edrecovery

Somethings to think about before the new year✨✨ #projectheal

For those in treatment and to those fighting in recovery, were happy your here. #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edwarrior #projectheal

Thank you to each of you who have followed and supported the #youareenoughmovement - the gratitude I feel for the last year is overwhelming. Thank you. Thank you so.

Show me the money 😁💸💸💸 But in case you’re waiting a while for cash to hit your bank account, we want to help you and your bestie out with TWO 25$ gift cards to @herstoryclothingco 💗💗 👇🏽 Tag your girlfriends below for a chance to win! Both of you must be following @herstoryclothingco to win. Winner will be announced tomorrow at 6pm ❤️ . . . #giveaway #entertowin #womenofsac #holidayshopping #shopsacramento #supportsmallbusiness #empoweringwomen #projectheal #lovetheskinyourein #fashionateverysize #holidaytops #boutiqueclothes #boutiqueshopping #sweaterdress #dresswithpockets #newarrivals #freeshipping #herstory #contestgiveaway #yourstorymatters #retailtherapy #onlineshopping #onlineboutique

Body hair is natural and liberating ✨ don’t be ashamed to rock your body just the way it is! Body hair removal is something women are trained to believe is the standard since childhood. This is a myth perpetuated by corporations who just want to profit off of it. Whether you shave or not is up to YOU and nobody else ✨ .. #bodypositive #bodypositivity #selflove #respect #youareloved #projectheal #safespace #positivevibes #loveyourself #youarenotalone #love #smile #mentalhealth #strength #keepgoing #heal

It’s so important to take care of yourself thru the stress of the holidays! Don’t feel bad about taking time for your own mental health and sanity. Self care is essential! ❤️ by @stacieswift .. #bodypositive #bodypositivity #selflove #respect #youareloved #projectheal #safespace #positivevibes #loveyourself #youarenotalone #love #smile #mentalhealth #strength #keepgoing #heal

One perk of recovery includes reveling in the sweet gooey glory of this cinnamon roll, a snack I would have punished myself for eating 10 years ago. Now I eat freely, joyfully and peacefully. And I owe that to the major learning curve that is recovery. It’s pretty sweet (bun intended... 😉) People who are recovered are graced with wisdom and awareness to have a better relationship with food than your average eater. With diet culture pulsing through the veins of our world, to be immune to it sometimes feels like my greatest superpower. I don’t know if I would have unlocked such a gift without my previous ED. So if you’re struggling now, just know that one day you may see your dieting friends and neighbors and feel thankful you’re no longer impacted by the obsessive antics that is calorie counting, carb cycling, macro counting , whatever-the-fuck. You’re headed to a safer existence just by being on this journey. #dietsdontwork #foodpositive #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #recoveryisworthit #blogger #lifecoach #calories #babygotback #reailience #recovery #fuckdietculture #tbt #likeforlike #projectheal #edrecoverycoach #lifecoach #recovery #perks #coach #dietfood #foodporn

I’m a believer in HAES (health at every size) and utilize HAES and intuitive eating concepts in my practice. We know weight is not an indicator of health. What’s an indicator of happiness? Joy? Living life? My therapist used to say, “Let your hair down and be you”. Where can you be yourself? Accepted as you are? This is the place...the people..the time we can dance free? What’s your tune? #certifiedintuitiveeatingcounselor #haesprovider #haesprofessional #intuitiveeatingcolumbiasc #edrecoverysc #nedawalkspeaker #projectheal

“Project HEAL in your will means we’ll be able to save lives and help people recover from eating disorders for years to come.” Thank You, Ms. Ayanna Gates ~ Project Heal NYC Ambassador for coming today! 💙#gkleader #projectheal #GkAllDay @projectheal @ayanna_projecthealqueens

as is true of many with eating disorders, I don’t handle change well. I’ve been hurtling towards two significant changes the last few weeks, one of which has already taken place. and surrounding change, particularly big change, I tend to cling to my eating disorder. in those moments ➕ months ➕ seasons it “keeps me grounded.” use of quotations because, although that feels real to me, I recognize that it isn’t. that it’s the disorder telling me it’s acting like a life raft, when really it’s the force that’s drowning me. but how do you let go of the thing that promises you it’s the only thing keeping you alive? I have no answers, now more than ever. I am trying to take each day for what it is ➕ remind myself that all I need to worry about is the present moment. but it’s not working well ➕ I am struggling ➕ I am feeling defeated. I am feeling like the changes happening around me are big enough; that I don’t need or want (or can’t) change myself at the same time. yet now, more than ever, I am left wondering how there is such a colossal gap between will and will not; between can’t ➕ won’t. I am living in that gap and it is full of confusion and guilt and shame. here’s to living in the gap - I know it not alone in this, despite the feeling in my bones that I am. #EDrecovery #edwarrior #lifewithouted #anorexia #selfharm #selfharmrecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatingeatingdisorders #recoverywarrior #projectheal #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #vulnerability #shame #surviving #findyourtribe #trusttheprocess #selfcompassion #peopleneedotherpeople #TWLOHA #hopeisreal #NEDA #iamhertribe #lightinthedarkness #nevergiveup #motivationmonday

No matter what you’re facing today, just know that you aren’t alone 🦋 #boiseid #recovery #edrecovery #boisestate #mentalhealth #eatingdisorderawareness #idaho #projectheal

Reposting this image from @stacieswift because it holds so much truth. Your eating disorder voice can tell you a lot of lies...about your accomplishments, your body, and what you need to do to be happy. Remember that that little voice does not control you. You can survive without it, but it cant survive without you. You have the power to make changes and leave that little voice behind . . . . #recoverywarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #ednosrecovery #edrecovery #edfighter #edfamily #recovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #ProjectHEAL #bodypositive #bopo #mentalhealth #prorecovery #eatingdisorder #mentalhealthadvocate #eatingdisorderadvocate #mentalhealthmatters

Oh what fun it is to choose recovery! Wishing everyone an amazing holiday season and a reminder to be patient with yourself during the challenges that come with the holidays ❄️ #recovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #holidayrecovery #projectHEAL

✨🌇🍩 Had a beautiful podcast interview this AM with @madelynmoon — talkin’ all things eating disorder and alcohol related (plus our long, long history of knowing each other in college and colorado). • She asked what I would like to be remembered for, and my answer was immediately “transparency.” • So in that light, here’s a transparent truth about fuckin’ doughnuts: • I ate bites out of all four of them there on that plate, but not all four. It makes my stomach hurt — am I scared? No, but I also don’t have the recovery inclination to down four before noon. And I’m not keen on sweets in the morning. • Is that wrong? No. Is it right? No. It’s just my experience of them. • Did I want the infamous @dunwelldoughnuts experience? Yes. So I jogged there this AM, admired nyc in the sun, got 4 and I ate as I pleased, schlepped them off to my partner, then bagged them up for tomorrow. • Would I have done that 4 years ago? No. I would’ve snuck a bite out of one, felt guilty, and pawned them off outta my sight. • Recovery just isn’t that black and white. It’s whatever version means something to you — that you can feel comfortable living with. • Crossing into manhattan this morning, thinking about my 3 years in Brooklyn. • Binge eating on subways. Hiding food in black parkas. • Man I miss New York City. • But I do not miss the girl who had to suffer to find herself there. • She is part of me, living at my surface — and I’m thankful I remember her here, again, in a different light 💛 • • • #nyc #recovery #edfam #edfamily #projectheal #mentalhealth #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery

Fun fact of the day: The Recovery Boxs partnership with @projectheal doesnt just combine our efforts towards promoting eating disorder recovery, it also gives each Project HEAL scholarship winner a Recovery Box to use in their treatment journey. Curious to learn more about Project HEAL and their mission? Pop over to http://theprojectheal.org to hear their story and how they promote access to treatment 🙌🏼🥰 . . . . #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #projectheal #mentalhealthwarrior #recoverybox #youdeserveit #treatment

🍎🌇🌧 all the lil choices that led me from here to you, my Colorado ponytail man ((but forever I’ll say: hey, let’s move back to nyc one day))💛 • #nyc #recovery #edfam #edfamily #projectheal #mentalhealth #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery

me asking my body & mind for forgiveness after a really hard year🧡 we did it! #mentalhealthawareness #selflove #selfforgiveness #radicalacceptance #thebodyisnotanapology #projectheal #neda #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #survivor #endthestigma

✨”A comfort zone is a beautiful place to live...but nothing ever G R O W S there.” 🌻 #ProjectHEAL

Project Heal lead team ugly sweater gift exchange party. Love all these amazing people. Excited to see what all God is going to do through them this next year. #projectheal #projectchurch #projectchurchwestsac #thebestisyettocome #believe

I 💭 of my recovery (RecoverEd) as a blessing. A 🎁. Was it hard work? Yes! Was it challenging? Heck yeah! Was it worth it? I am so thankful for the lessons learned, strengths gained, and person I am now. Life Rocks! I asked all those questions.. why me? I have the rich blessing of helping people in the same struggle. Do I always share mine? No. It’s not about me. Although there are times when “I get it” and my clients wonder how. Well, some may read this! I am thankful for my struggle because I can share my blessing. And you’ll learn about a project in the works soon! Hope is real. Hope is alive! Hope is in you! New Hope Counseling and Wellness Center comes from Heb 6:19, We have this hope grounded as an anchor firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain Maintain Hope in a Recovered Life. If you are supporting a loved one, maintain hope. DM if you have any questions or need encouragement. #recoveredlife #nedawalks #sceda #projectheal #iaedp #edtecovery #hopeinrecovery #virtualsupport

Happy National Cupcake day! 🧁 May we all remember that #allfoodsfit! - #ProjectHEAL #EDRecovery #EDAwareness #Portland - Coolest pic from @rockrecovery

Validate and more validation. Whether it be in depression, anxiety, physical pain, hard time eating, body image, feelings of worthlessness... listen to the moment, be present, hear me, hear them ✌️ #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfamilyrecovery #nodiet #edfamilyeatingdisorderrecovery #neda #eatingdissorder #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #mindfulness #mentalheathrecovery #projectheal

Most importantly, BE at home in your heart with love and acceptance...Life then becomes a celebration everywhere. 💕 . Look for our upcoming mindfulness event The HeART of Recovery ™ - a gathering for creative letting go and compassionate acceptance for greater inner peace. . . #projectheal #projecthealbuckscounty #selflove #iaedp #buckscountypa #eatingdisordereecovery

Friday nights are @yokochisholm nights almost every single week! We had quite the day!! . I volunteered at the boys’ school, then we headed over to drop off 400 pairs of sock at @sharingtreeok. The boys LOVED being part of the @sockcampaign with @bombas and have saved 10 pairs to add to our homeless bags. . Now, sushi and all the fun of Friday night!

Thanks to Project Heal of Milwaukee for hosting Aloria Health and several area providers for a fun evening of networking last night. #aloriahealth #morethan #projectheal

🚨CRAFT IDEA🚨Looking for a fun and easy project that will serve you (and/or your teen) a purpose? Here is one suitable for most ages and can be done either individually or as a team! Grab a deck of cards and craft supplies; make affirmation cards to remind your future self of your favorite mantras, poetry, or images. You can make 1, 15, or the whole deck of 52 cards and keep them somewhere within reach for when you need a little pick-me-up or encouragement! Simple, quick, and powerful ✂️🔖

Just a reminder that less sunlight and outdoor socializing can bring you down. It happens to everyone, though some a little more than others... Be gentle with yourself and take the time that you need...soon it’ll be June again. Nothing but acceptance and love 💕 #selfcare #patience #seasonalaffectivedisorder #SADandsad #projectheal #newscotlandclinic #healingat5rose

💫This is incredible. 6 HUGE boxes stuffed to the brim with socks for shelters and organizations across the OKC metro were just delivered to me! Ginger Lee and I will be coordinating deliveries over the next few days! I got drenched in the cold rain while loading them into my car and my wedges are now soaked so I put on a pair of these to give them a test run. WOW - @Bombas socks are incredible! So warm and thick and comfy! I know these will go a LONG way this winter❄️. This is making an impact on the lives of the people who will receive them. When you buy Bombas socks, one pair is donated for every pair purchased. This is a great way to shop and give this holiday season!! 💗🌲

Its not your job to be someone or something for anyone else. Your job is to show up. Your job is to authentically be yourself. Dont let others expectations keep you trapped living a life that isnt your own. No one else on this earth can be YOU. It is a brave thing to live authentically in a world that is constantly pressuring you to compromise, conform and be a carbon copy of everyone else. @feedyourspark #behuman #liveauthentically #justshowup #beyourself #shineyourlight #loveyourself #representyou #liveawake #edrecovery #edrecoveryadvocate #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edrecoveryjourney #projectHEAL #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawarenes #eatingdisorderhelp #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery #osfedrecovery #ednosrecovery #orthorexiarecovery #bodypositive #eatingdisorder #hope

Had a call with @projectheal this morning, talking synergy between all things recovery and outdoors — then zipped up my bag to go back to NYC and roam the streets that changed my life. • Best friend & I texting earlier “oh god you remember the stoop in Bushwick apt?” • You basically lived on that stoop she texted. Bc you always lost your keys. • And smoked cigs, I snorted writing back. • Wonder how X is doing? • I could hear her moan as she typed. That was a terrible phase idk what I was thinking. • Smiled. You and I both. • I often feel about nyc — that I made a lot of mistakes that I’m thankful for now, but would never want to repeat. • First years out of rehab. First years in recovery — first years learning how to eat and drink and socialize and live. • Fell in love in that city, and got crushed. And in turn I crushed others. One I’m having lunch with tomorrow. • Started writing in nyc - my blog - and what a bloody blessing I never would’ve pursued without that NYC energy. • Love all the parts of my life - in all their moons and phases. • Will watch my best friend try on wedding dresses this weekend, smile as she turns and sashays. • Remember how once I thought I’d marry a woman I was with in NYC - before that a man. Before that another and another. • Hopefully feel comfortable with the now as it is — eat freely and comfortably. And mostly wholly. • Apologize to that big ole city for stamping cigs on its pavement, and thank it for forcing me to grow. • Tis all we can do — love the life we have, as helpless as we are to it 💛🌇✨ #nyc #recovery #edfam #edfamily #projectheal #mentalhealth #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery

A bad day doesn’t equal a bad life❣️ #boiseidaho #boisestate #recovery #mentalhealth #edrecovery #projectheal

Between education, credentials, licensure, work environment, purpose, and the cost of a visit, make sure you know what kind of professional youre searching for to suit your needs! ☝️🧠 Find our NEW BLOG POST by clicking the link in our bio💕

Big goals. Bigger dreams. . No need to wait for January 1 - my goal setting process is ever-evolving and changing! I like the feel of a ‘new month, new week, new year,’ but goodness - I am just too excited to wait for that! . Let’s dream big NOW!

really working on coming to terms with this one ➕ believing that asking for help isn’t giving up, but is refusing to give up. I’ve been leaning on my team far more than usual lately; I have been reaching out between sessions and asking for extra sessions. I have been brutally, painfully honest ➕ speaking about things I never thought I’d be able to. I’ve been acting out in behaviors but admitting them; I’ve been falling down but am asking for help getting back up. I’m in a weird place right now - I want to give up, so badly. I am begging my team to give up on me ➕ am begging my friends to do the same. but somehow, by some miracle of god, I am surrounded by people who refuse to let me give up ➕ refuse to give up on me. and for that I am so incredibly, wordlessly, inexplicably thankful. #EDrecovery #edwarrior #lifewithouted #anorexia #selfharm #selfharmrecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatingeatingdisorders #recoverywarrior #projectheal #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #vulnerability #shame #surviving #findyourtribe #trusttheprocess #selfcompassion #peopleneedotherpeople #TWLOHA #hopeisreal #NEDA #iamhertribe #lightinthedarkness #nevergiveup #bravery

Even if that means sitting with, accepting, and loving the hardest parts of you. ✨🌞

Focus on living in the moment. Be present. This time of year, to easy to get caught up in the chaos, but try to make it a point to be present in the moment. #projectheal #projecthealnorthtexas

// it is ok to lay it down in total surrender \\ this hit me in the FEELS tonight, right when I needed something to put the words to what I was feeling when my thoughts weren’t making sense. the few weeks have been really, really tough ➕ the last week in particular has felt excruciating. I’m waiting for the upward spiral; I’m waiting for the downfall to slow down and stop hurting. right now it doesn’t feel like there’s room to step into each day. I got home from a long, intense day about an hour ago and haven’t stopped sobbing since. therapy ➕ work➕ feeling the physical effects of my eating disorder ➕ navigating complicated relationships ➕ (feeling like) failing. right now, as I am wiping tears my my eyes and trying to form coherent sentences, it feels like total surrender. In this moment I am raw ➕ defeated ➕ broken; what I’m doing isn’t working at all but I’m terrified to change. I need to believe in my soul that things will be ok, and that there is no worry too small ➕ no worry too big. I need to believe that it is ok to lay it all down. but most of all, I need to believe that I am not alone ➕ that the light can still find me. #EDrecovery #edwarrior #lifewithouted #anorexia #selfharm #selfharmrecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatingeatingdisorders #recoverywarrior #projectheal #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #vulnerability #shame #surviving #findyourtribe #trusttheprocess #selfcompassion #peopleneedotherpeople #TWLOHA #hopeisreal #NEDA #iamhertribe #lightinthedarkness #vulnerability #shame #risingstrong

I want this moment of freedom back. when this picture was taken, I was deep in my eating disorder. but, for that singular moment, I felt a breath of freedom ➕ possibility ➕ lightness. in therapy this morning, we talked a lot about me feeling frustrated that I continue to engage in behaviors and use the eating disorder to cope with and numb emotions; that, although I didn’t think my life would look like this at 29, I am terrified to stop because I don’t know how to or what I will be left with. my therapist, in her infinite wisdom (and with one of her trademark food puns) posited the idea that if, presented with a choice between a fork or chopsticks, I’d probably pick a fork because it’s what I know how to use and am comfortable with. I think it’s a great analogy, in a way - I pick the eating disorder (or, the eating disorder convincing me I’m picking it but I don’t actually have a choice. tbd), and the idea of not engaging in behaviors is so foreign that I’m not picking it. essentially, she’s asking me to take a leap of faith and pick the chopsticks, even though I might not know how to use them ➕ they will be messy ➕ complicated ➕ confusing ➕ counterintuitive. I told her that it feels like I’m being asked to use chopsticks, but that I have no hands. I do not know how to let go because I’m scared. I’m scared because I don’t know how to let go. I want that moment of freedom back; I want my hands released and untied and able to use the chopsticks. #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #EDrecovery #edwarrior #lifewithouted #anorexia #selfharmrecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatingeatingdisorders #OSFED #recoverywarrior #projectheal #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #vulnerability #shame #surviving #findyourtribe #progressnotperfection #memoriesovermacros #selfcompassion #therapysession #TWLOHA #hopeisreal #NEDA #iamhertribe #lightinthedarkness #transformationtuesday #findingfreedom

You can do this ✨ - #ProjectHEAL #EDRecovery #EDAwareness #Portland

Did you know that protein plays a critical role in the regulation of our emotions? Todays post (link in bio) breaks down the science behind the importance of this process and what you can do to bring more happiness into your new year 🥰😊

Love never fails. In the busy holiday season as this year comes to ends, don’t forget to love yourself, Love those around you & watch as love never fails. #projecthealnorthtexas #projectheal #recovery

#Repost @oklahomaeatingdisorders with @get_repost ・・・ 💗what people with eating disorder want you to know💗 1. We did not choose to have our Eating Disorders (EDs); it is combination of genetics/environment. 2. EDs don’t discriminate; any combination of gender, age, ethnicity, SES, etc. can have them. 3. These illnesses are not about “vanity;” they are serious, potentially life-threatening diseases. 4. We cannot “just eat;” there are many medical, psychological, and social reasons why we can’t. 5. The ED serves as a coping mechanism; it has a function, even if it doesn’t seem rational to you. 6. We feel that the rest of our world is out of control, so we focus on controlling our own body. 7. Daily life activities are more challenging; it takes effort to do things, especially out of routine. 8. It is really hard for us to concentrate on anything other than ED, so we may forget some things. 9. Social occasions are stressful for us; we worry about what we eat, how we look, others judging. 10. Casual comments (e.g., “Bingeing on Netflix,” “Anorexic Celebrities”) downplay ED seriousness. 11. ED isolates us from others; we don’t have close connections, and we often feel very lonely. 12. ED is a dictating voice in our head; it’s hard to go through life with someone constantly yelling. 13. ED distorts our views of our bodies so we can’t really see ourselves; it’s like a fun-house mirror. 14. ED controls our thoughts and behaviors; it’s a separate entity from our true selves that we hate. 15. We feel guilty for having an ED, for being a “burden” to others, having high bills for treatment. 16. We are grateful, however, for those who believe in us, and support us throughout our journey. 17. We wish that we could be “normal;” enjoying food, relationships, social occasions, like others. 18. Overall, we wish that others would see us as individuals, not our EDs; there is much more to us. 19. People with EDs are intelligent, talented, hard-working, intuitive, and empathic towards others. . 20. There is LIFE after an eating disorder!

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