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I’ve been trying to do things good for my soul because holy crap the last couple months have really been tough. But wow it feels good to breathe again. Thank goodness for a tribe of family and friends that have literally saved me.

I sincerely hope these are the photos I take while pregnant... but actually though. #overdue 😂 Today at church we were talking about the holidays are supposed to be a season of joy and peace and as this baby rolled in my tummy, I was reminded of how just one year ago, I was lacking joy and peace and dreading the holiday. 🎄 Our second baby had a due date of December 24th and I had remembered dreaming of a holiday holding that little baby only to have that dream ripped away. In this season of expectancy, I am reminded of the seasons of waiting... perhaps you’re in one. 🙏🏼 I don’t have answers, I can’t tell you it’ll all be okay when it feels like it won’t, I am sorry you’re going through it but I can tell you that this season you’re in won’t last forever and that if you’re missing out on that peace and joy, you aren’t broken, you’re a human navigating hard things. 🎁 We’ve waited three years for this season, so I think we can manage to wait a few more days. Praying for you, wherever you are at this holiday season. I pray that hope can fill the voids in your heart and that you can trust that you are not alone. #40weekspregnant #aeriereal

❕❕SENSITIVE POST ❕❕ Well, it’s heartbreaking but I will get through it. My cycle 2 has been cancelled. Hopefully one day I will complete my 3rd cycle but it will be after the wedding. This was one of the hardest decisions I had to make and I’m still a little confused if I want to risk it or just wait. Please keep us in your prayers and I’m sending so much baby dust to whoever reading this💕 #ttc #ttcjourney #ttccommunity #fertility #fertilityjourney #infertility #miscarriage #IVF #ihadamiscarriage #support #infertilitysupport #unexplainedinfertility #infertilityjourney #infertilityawareness #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagesurvivor #miscarriagessuck #miscarriages #miscarriagesurvivor #infertilitycommunity #infertilitysucks #ivfjourney #ivfsuccess #ivfpregnancy #ivfcommunity #infertilitywarrior #postpartum #postpartumdepression #liveyourbestlife #babyloss

✨ For some, having a family can be relatively quick and easy... for others it is a long roller coaster of a road, full of twists, turns, road blocks and pit holes. Fertility is a journey for many people and you are not alone nowadays. . No matter what, keep your vision in your mind. Believe everyday. ✨Let no one taint your dreams ❤️

I would say “snow day” but in North Carolina it’s either slush or ice. Today, it’s slush. So slush day with this one 💕☃️

Messing around with some logo ideas. This one I like the best so far! #logo #glasshealingblog #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #stlblogger #blogger #blog #1in4 #notalone #healing #recovery #strongerthanyesterday

New Blog Post – Link in my Bio. Its been a while since I last posted a chapter in my Chasing Motherhood story, that’s partly because I’ve been procrastinating by writing about all other things related to infertility. Truth is, this next part is the time I find most difficult to revisit. Without giving too much away, I don’t think I truly ever grieved properly for the loss that we suffered. In revisiting this time, I came across a new wave of grief which came to a head just today when I struggled to find my pregnancy tests that I had kept as my only keepsake of a treasured pregnancy. Poor Matt found me sobbing as I tore through the house searching for them. Thankfully I eventually found them, pictured above as my only remembrance of this first and only pregnancy with my own eggs. In my latest update to my journey, ‘Testing My Resolve’ tells of my testing for pregnancy following our first IVF cycle, being transported into my own little pregnancy bubble, before being cruelly brought back down to earth after just a few weeks. “Until that moment, I never knew it was possible to fall from so high to so low in such a short space of time. Expecting one of the most wonderful moments of my life to date, I ended up experiencing the most tragic. The silence from the sonographer said it all. There was no heartbeat, which can be normal at that early stage, but also no foetal pole or yolk sac. Just an empty sac, beautiful but empty.” For more updates on my Chasing Motherhood story, plus all other of my fertility related posts please follow @DefiningMum. . . . #youarenotalone #letstalkfertility #itsgoodtotalk #breakthesilence #everystorymatters #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #babyloss #ttc #ttccommunity #ivfstrongertogether #resilience #definingmum #chasingmotherhood #ivf #ivfjourney #infertility #infertilityawareness #infertilitysucks #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysupport #infertilityjourney #donoreggs #deivf #eggdonorbaby #eggdonorrecipient #deivfjourney #eggdonation

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝? 💗 💗 As you heal you will go through so many thoughts. Ups and downs and that’s ok. You have to allow yourself to feel in order to heal. No matter the speed. Go at your own pace 💗 💗 🙏🏼 #fertility #thisisourjourney #photography #lovetogether #confessionsofafertilityfreak #marriedatfirstsight #marriage #goals #love #lovehim #instagood #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #baby #babies #babyangel #missedmiscarriage #silentmiscarriage #blogger #blog #writersofinstagram

As we start decorating for Christmas this year, our family is so thankful to have Lilly’s stocking under our tree. Just a few days ago marks the day we lost our first baby (last year) and I can’t help but feel emotional... but oh so thankful for our precious Lilly 💕🌈🎄 . . . . . #rainbowbaby #miscarriageawareness #babygirl #familytime #christmastime #thankful #babiesfirstchristmas

@cagrigulumser - . 🔴Nerdeyese tüm düşüklerin %70’inin sebebi kromozomal anomaliler ve genetik sendromlardır. Bu fotoğrafta 10-12 Haftalık düşük ile sonuçlanmış bir gebeliği görüyorsunuz. 2-3 defa düşük yapılırsa bu düşüklerden sonra PATOLOJİK ve GENETİK çalışmaların yapılması bir sonraki sağlıklı gebelik için çok önemlidir. Düşüğün GENETİK incelemesi için CANLI DOKU ÖRNEĞİ̇ şarttır. Dolayısı ile bazen uzun sure önce olmus ve anlaşılamamış düşüklerde genetik sonuç çıkmayabilir. Ancak bu riske rağmen yinede yapılması önemlidir. Eğer elimizde Patolojik ve Genetik sonuçlar olursa bir sonraki gebelikten önce ve sırasında neler yapılmasını gerektiğini daha iyi planlarız. Bünün dışında kan pıhtılaşma testleri ile ilgili ve diğer düsük sebepleri ile ilgi başka bir paylaşım yapacağım. . . ☑️ TAKİP ET ❤️ @cagrigulumser Daha fazla bilgi için @cagrigulumser takip edin . . ☑️ARKASLARİNİZİ YORUMLARA ETİKETLEYİN . . 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Almost 70% reason of all miscarriages is chromosomal and genetic diseases. You see the picture: A miscarriage of 10-12 weeks of pregnancy 🤰 when it subsequently happens pathological and genetic studies should be performed to investigate the reason behind this. For the genetic testing live cell must be preserved. Therefor sometime it’s not possible to get the results. However when we have such informations we are able to plan and to organize what to do before and during next pregnancy. Ask your doctor to have genetic and pathological studies after the subsequent miscarriages. . . For more interesting pictures, informations just follow my account @cagrigulumser. You can even sent DM txt messages in terms of OBSTETRICS and GYNECOLOGY. I will answer all your questions : : . #gebelik #gebe #dogum #doğum #riskligebelik #perinatoloji #düşük #abortus #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #miscarriagesurvivor #bleeding #vaginalbirth #hamile #pregnancy #pregnant #medical #medicine #tıp #sağlık #anne #sezeryansonrasıvajinaldoğum #usmle #medicalstudent #hemsire #ebe #kadındoğum #doktor #nüve1t

Finns first Christmas tree! 🎄

We gave this little house to our girls for Christmas many years ago, before the boys were born. It gave my kids years of fun and I enjoy seeing it out back through the seasons. Last December Jim almost convinced me to get rid of it. We didn’t know then that I was pregnant with twins. In those first few days after we received the surprising news, there were several things we were excited about. I was excited this little house would soon have new life playing in it. While we were outback playing with our kids today, this little house caught my eye and my heart. It’s pretty, but it was also a knife to my heart as I realized our twins will never play in it. Triggers for grief are found in some of the most unexpected places, even in the midst of fun and joy.

@jenniferkaiton shares how her losses affected her marriage. Watch the full clip through the link in my bio. ♥️

Yesterday we lit a candle for our beautiful unborn baby who was due 8th December 2014. We lost him/her at almost 11 weeks into our pregnancy. We will never forget you and always love who you were to us, our first precious creation ❤️. You paved the way for our beautiful Anya and we like to think you look after her from heaven. #unbornchild #unborn #miscarriageawareness #neverforgotten #iloveyou #ourbaby #heaven

For those that know me know that I am not at all a fan of cold weather or snow. I’m more of a sunny and 75 type girl. I like to be comfortable in jeans and a t shirt and being able to enjoy a walk with my dog or ride on my horse without being too hot or too bundled up to try to keep warm. That’s not asking too much, right? 😜 . I do, however, love my snowmen and snowflake winter decorations. They are my favorite. Rather than decorating for holidays I tend to decorate for seasons, so my decorations can stay up longer. . As Christmas approaches I am again fighting off a sadness that always pushing its way forward. I’m wrapping presents for my nieces and nephews knowing that my own children are missing from the pile. I see my husband enjoying time with his brother wishing I could be enjoying time with mine. I see the empty chairs and I hear the voices that are missing from the conversations and it’s hard. I have so many things to be grateful for. I have three surviving siblings that I still get to do life with, as well as a slew of nieces of nephews I get to spoil rotten (that’s an aunts job 😜). My husband and I are a few short weeks away from meeting our rainbow baby and we have other exciting things unfolding in our lives. . What I’m trying to get at is that Christmas is a hard time of year for a lot of people. Most times we hide it well, because everyone around us is celebrating and we really aren’t looking for pitty. It is absolutely ok to be sad and have moments of grief mixed in with moments of joy. Life after loss is hard and very misunderstood. . The best way to help someone grieving during the holidays is to remember. Time means little. A loss can be recent or 30 years ago but the years don’t change the hole left in that family. Don’t be after to say that loved ones name out loud or dream with your friend about what there baby might be like now. . I’d love to help you remember this Christmas. If you want a hat for your sweet baby please let me know. If you want a hat for a friend, I’d love to send you one for them as well. 💙❤️💙❤️

Thank you so much! I hope to keep growing to continue helping women know they aren’t alone! #keeponkeepinon #growing #healing #recovery #stronger #1in4 #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #notalone #blog #stlblogger #blogger #glasshealingblog #lifestyle #women #ttc #family

It’s a BOY! 💙💙

Day 9 of #adventtoremember and we’ve had a ‘Boys Day Out’. I loved this one because I know it’s something we would have done with Oli. Being surrounded by boys (other than the dog and cats) it’s easy to imagine what life would have been like with Oli in it, this in itself brings some comfort but it’s also a constant reminder of our missing piece. Today was spent at Plantasia where they had an Exotic Animal Encounter , followed by lunch and pancakes at Denny’s and a little bowling session to end the day. It was so much fun and we managed a few RAOK while we were there. . . . My favourite part of the day was when I handed a Costa Gift card to the lady behind the counter. I asked her to take the gift card and gift it to someone of her choice. She thanked me and I thought it was the end of that. 5 minutes later the store manager came out, eyes red from crying. She gave me a huge hug, sat down with us and asked us about Oli. She gave my four year old some treats and thanked us for our generosity. Her response was so heartwarming, my husband cried with her. It made my day. . . . #adventtoremember #adventforoli #miscarriageawareness #stillbirthawareness #bereavedparent

EXCERPT FROM MY NEW BLOG POST: “There are many more wishes [prayers] I have , but I am not in control of that, I am only in control of being grateful for the Now” The lead up to Christmas was much different two years ago. As hard as it was then, I used to encourage and remind myself that a grateful heart is a magnet to miracles - whether it be big or small. Just remember you may have something or someone that some else is praying for. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle~ Albert Einstein **link in bio** . . . . . . . . . . . . #mum #mumblog #infertilitysupport #infertilityblogger #ivfjourney #infertility #miraclebaby #fertility #miracleshappen #rawmotherhood #honestmotherhood #miscarriageawareness #rainbowbaby #momblogger #mumblogger #miscarriageawareness #ttccommunity #ivfsuccess #ivfsupport #ivfpregnancy #pcos #endometriosis #ivf #iui #bloggermom

I’ve been so on edge recently, maybe it’s the gloomy weather or maybe it’s because this time of year for two years now has only brought sadness. I love Christmas and I love being around family but last year when we headed home I had my first miscarriage. This year we were supposed to be welcoming Claire on Christmas Day but we aren’t, instead I’m tentatively scheduled for surgery because my body still has retained tissue from her pregnancy. I’m trying to find the joy in the season but this month has been so much harder than I thought it would be. Maybe it’s just another phase of grief. I know it will pass but right now it’s heavy. I’m trying to remind myself that there is hope and that God is faithful. I am just ready for this to be over, I want to physically be better so my mind and heart can mend too. Please pray for me, and pray for my family as I’m not always the most fun to be around right now 😂

About to enter my fertile window but Im not holding out much hope for this month. Stephen has taken a room during the week to be closer to work (it currently takes him 4 trains and an hour 20 each way) which somewhat throws a spanner in the works; crossing my fingers for quality over quantity, as it were! 😝 : : : #GreatestAdventure #MamaInTheMaking #RainbowBaby #IHadAMiscarriage #LifeAfterMiscarriage #BabyDust #MotherhoodJourney #HonestMotherhood #Miscarriage #MiscarriageSupport #MiscarriageAwareness #PregnancyLoss #PregnancyLossSupport #InfertilityJourney #Fertility #TTCAfterMiscarriage #TTC #TTCSisters #TTCSupport #TTCwarrior #WishfulMother #WannabeMum #MotherhoodUnplugged #LifeThroughAFilter Photo via @anidamaternity

Growing up we believe that having a baby is easy. We never expect to have a problem conceiving but it’s hits like a ton of bricks. We can’t change the cards we are dealt but we can change what we do from here on out. To get started, call or click our link in bio to make an appointment. We want to make this process as stress free and easy for you as possible. Infertility isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning! . . . #DrRobinPZ #NewHopeFertilityVA #RobinsEggsttc #infertilitycenter #INVOcell #infertility #ttc #ttcwarriors #ttcsisters #ivf #ivfwarriors #ivfsisters #InfertilityAwareness #Ttcover30 #ttcover35 #ttcover40 #ttcjourney #ttcVirginia #Pcos #endometriosis #infertilityjourney #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #ivfsuccess #lgbt #ivfcommunity #ttccommunity #infertilitytreatment #VirginiaBeach (To find out more information - please click our link in bio. Today’s the day to start your family!)

It’s a snow day here in North Carolina ☃️ and we are snowed in! I am a home body so I don’t mind being at home especially when we have power because then I can get some work done and focus on Hello Warrior! This pup is Sugar, my three-legged pit mix but thinks she’s a dachshund like her sisters. She is never this cuddly and she has had her head on my for hours - part of me looks too far into this sign and thinks “I’M PREGNANT” but we all know it’s too soon for me to know that and it’s far too soon for her to know that. ✨ But a girl can dream. ✨ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you live in an area that gets snow - what’s your favorite thing to do on snow days? Chances are we will still be here tomorrow.☃️

Your entire life really can change in a year... you just have to love yourself enough to know you deserve more, be brave enough to demand more, and be disciplined enough to actually work for more. —— Size 1️⃣2️⃣👉🏼0️⃣2️⃣ 1️⃣6️⃣0️⃣lbs 👉🏼1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣lbs Jan 2018 👉🏼 Dec 2018 —— From the WORST year of my life to the best. All because I took a leap of faith. I was scared and skeptical. Afraid to fail because I had every other time before. —— What was different this time? Someone showed me I could. I watched my coach show up month after month and knew if she could, I could too. —— I’m not going anywhere, and I’m showing up for YOU. I believe in you and want you to believe in you too. —— My next bootcamp starts Dec. 17th. Just fill out the application in my bio for info 💕 Let’s make 2019 your best year! —— 💍 Also: I’m still happily married, my rings are just too big now 😉 #nonscalevictory

A sculpture made to capture the emotional trauma of a still born or a pregnancy that never made it full term. This sculpture will probably hit the hearts of women who see this and this isn’t to cause upset, I felt if anything, it enables people to realise that no matter what stage a foetus is developed and what stage your loss occurs, your loss is always a profound heart breaking loss that the mother endures. People say “she wasn’t even that far gone” to attempt to ease a mother’s pain but those ignorant comments can not help fill the void of her loss. 1 in 4 pregnancies are lost before birth so this post goes out to all the angel babies who never made it and all the heroic mothers that have endured and grieved their loss 💙💖👼🏾👼🏻👼🏼👼🏽👼🏿💖💙 #oneinfour #iamoneinfour #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #angelbaby #youareloved

😢 My heart is broken 💔 Sometimes I can’t believe that this is actually my life at the moment; it’s so awful. What a horrible, heartbreaking journey we’ve been on so far. Let’s hope there’s a happy ending for us and light at the end of this tunnel. I don’t think I could take any more heartache. Bring on our rainbow! 🌈 . #ttc #ttcarainbow #ttcarainbowbaby #ttcafterloss #ttcourrainbowbaby #thebevs #rainbowbaby #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #babyloss #missedmiscarriage #rainbowpregnancy #daretodream #twinloss #whenitrainslookforrainbowswhenitsdarklookforstars #tryingtoconceive #tryingtoconceivearainbowbaby #fertility #letstalkfertility #ttccommunity #ttcsisters #ttcjourney #ttcaftermiscarriage #ttcaftermissedmiscarriage #ttcsupport #ttcmembers #fertilityjourney #fertilitysupport #ttcarainbow🌈

Some days you’re fine. Some days it hits you like a tonne of bricks and you can’t control the tears thinking about what could have been. Not sure what exactly has triggered this. Could possibly be Christmas, my upcoming due date, our extension which was to accommodate our new addition, or possibly seeing a girl I know who is due around the same time as I was going to be. . . I know my Instagram can at times look really fun and it is! I genuinely do have a lot of fun. But, this week has been hard. I’m telling you all because I don’t ever want you to feel disillusioned by my page, I’m human and today I’m hurting. . . I’ll be better tomorrow x . . #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness

🤦🏻‍♀️ when you’re still getting deliveries of baby stuff that you can’t use and have no idea where it’s coming from.. ** story time ** Yesterday I took a tour of my church’s new children’s area and someone pointed at the infant room and said “we’re waiting for your baby to join this class”... ya, well, I’m waiting too sir. You never realize how these comments trigger people that have experienced loss until it happens to you. Especially with Christmas (and baby due date) coming up... for the love of everything, please just be sensitive with your words. Think before you speak even more so when you know of someone that may be grieving. #ihadamiscarriage #lifeafterloss #miscarriageawareness

Yes I am✌🏻 I’ve learnt that you are way more resilient than you ever think. That even the most difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations. Fear stops you living. If people in your life can’t support you at your best, they don’t deserve your time when you are struggling. Simplicity is the key. Do what makes your happy. Love is the most important thing. Just a few Sunday thoughts 💭

2yrs ago our hearts broke but we finally have our little rainbow baby and shes certainly helped heal them and make them full again. A small piece will always belong to the one who didnt stay with us 😘❤ #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscourage #breakthesilence #apartofourstory #gonebutnotforgotten #rainbowbaby

3 years ago I suffered my second miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #gonetoosoon #pregnancyloss

{Strength} I am learning that strength is not only seen in your muscles. It falls over us in waves throughout our lives. We get knocked down and we find strength that we never even knew we had. Lots of reflecting this past week on losses. Three years since we lost our baby. But, the strength that surfaced in this grief has been amazing. The shift that occurs when you grow beyond your known capacity. It’s a beautiful thing. Finding the peace and happiness in the losses. That’s where the magic happens. . . . #grief #growth #strength #loss #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #happiness #findingjoy #peace #mindfulness #yoga #meditation #chasingwild

Yesterday I had the honour of spending the day with other Doulas learning from a incredible instructor. Together with Jessica we discussed how we as Doulas are able to come alongside women and their families experiencing Miscarriage, that we honour them in that birth and the journey they walk in that too. 1 in 3, with so many quietly feeling many emotions. There can be support, you do not have to face anything alone. . . . #pregnancyloss #miscarriageawareness #birthtakesavillage #miscarriagesupport #normalizemiscarriage #bereavementdoula #oldsdoula #lilappledoula

After 5 miscarriages, 3 rounds of hormone therapy, 2 surgeries, 1 gene mutation, 2 tumors, and countless blood draws and sonograms... I still believe in the glory that is coming! 🙌🏻 If you have suffered miscarriage, still birth or infant loss; you are not alone. Find your sister survivors at Miscarriage SOS (LINK IN BIO) Come share your story and get love and support from women who truly understand your pain and your loss. Find your SOS tribe! Don’t be afraid! We’re waiting for you right now, and we get it! . . . #Miscarriage #MiscarriageSOS #1in4 #Support #PregnancyLoss #Grieving #Strength #thefaceofmiscarriage #onedayatatime #AngelBaby #AngelMom #IHadAMiscarriage #MiscarriageAwareness #EndTheStigma #HumanKindness #Love #YouAreNotAlone #LeafyMom #WarOnStigma #WarriorWoman #PTSD #EyelinerStrong #MultipleMiscarriage #EarlyMiscarriage #CheckYourProgesterone #StillBirth #InfantLoss #Faith

When is it supposed to get easier? 4 years have past since weve said hello and goodbye to our beautiful baby girl. I reflect back on the short time I was able to hold you in my arms and kiss you, and my heart cries. It longs to feel your skin against mine, and to hug you when you need it most. It longs to read you a bedtime story and rock you to sleep. It is still so hard not to question why you are in heaven instead of with Mommy and Daddy. Why couldnt you be with us to play on the swings or learn how to swim in the pool with Daddy. Why couldnt you be with Mommy learning how to measure ingredients to bake a cake. But then I remember that although you arent doing all those special things with us you are doing them all with your family in heaven. Welita showing you how to cook special treats; Welito telling you bedtime stories; Grandpa teaching you how to swim; Tio Tito teaching you how to ride a bike; Joseph teaching you how to be adventurous in the playscape; and best of all your baby brother showering you in love. My sweet angel you are in good hands. I love you forever ❤️Happy 4th birthday❤️ #annabellasangels #annabellagrace #miscarriageawareness #stillbornstillloved #stillbornawareness #1in4 #momtoanangel

Day 38 // LUMINOUS MYSTERIES IN THANKSGIVING — Have you heard the story of Juan Diego? Mary appeared to him on December 9th, 1531, as he rushed from the home of his sick uncle to church for the feast of the Immaculate Conception. Mary explained that she was the mother of God and requested that he ask the bishop to build a church on Tepeyac Hill, the site of a pagan temple. Juan Diego told the bishop who he had seen and what she wanted, but the bishop said, “I need to think about that.” Mary returned to Juan Diego and replied, “Ask again.” The bishop retorted, “Bring me proof.” Juan Diego then avoided Tepeyac Hill; he didn’t want to tell Mary he had failed, and he was preoccupied with caring for his sick uncle. Mary found Juan Diego anyway and reassured him, “Am I not here, I who am your mother?” The gentle mother promised him that his uncle would be cured and instructed him to pick flowers from the top of Tepeyac, even though it was December. The man obliged, climbed the hill, and filled his cloak with blossoms; these were to be his proof for the bishop. — When Juan Diego opened his cloak for the bishop and flowers tumbled to the ground, he found a radiant image of Mary imprinted onto the fabric. His uncle was cured; the church was constructed; thousands of Mexican citizens converted; the cloak remains intact and continues to spark conversions today. — I find comfort in the parallel between Juan Diego’s life and my own. Mary served as messenger between her Son in Heaven and a simple man on earth. Juan Diego met her persistence with the full range of human responses—obedience, hesitation, doubt, fear, and avoidance—but she continued to meet him wherever he was. She didn’t wait for him to scale the hill. She met him at the bottom and used his wishy-washy “yes” to work miracles on behalf of her King. — This is the power of the rosary. With each Hail Mary we pick a rose from the barren winter ground. Mary works the wilted mess we gather into something beautiful for God; we can’t foretell the exact image or intended audience, but we can be confident that it will glorify Him and echo indefinitely, for is she not here, she who is our mother? @rachelbargasimpson

I got happy mail from @declanandcrew yesterday. I saw the package and thought, “I didn’t order anything this time...” Enclosed was the sweetest note from a dear friend that surprised me with the most cozy momma shirts. Every Thursday we go to @bwwings (I promise it’s related) and we have been going since before G was born. Along the way, we met Miss Morgan and she has been taking care of us for years. We we go, the boys call it “Miss Morgan’s House.” She loves our babies and puts their order in as soon as we arrive. We always take time to catch up and talk life and I just adore her. She’s working hard, raising her two littles and going to nursing school and is one tough momma. She knew the heartache we’ve had this year with miscarriage and reached out in the sweetest way. ❤️ thank you @declanandcrew for going the extra mile 😘 and thank you Miss Morgan @mofox2007 for being you 😘 #angelsamongus #sweetgestures #friendslikefamily #sisterhoodofmotherhood #letthelightin #kindness #randomactsofkindness #momma #miscarriageawareness #tistheseason #ittakesavillage #momlife

So I picked these up the other day. No idea what theyll be like (probably rubbish judging by the price lol) 🙈 I still have absolutely no idea whats gone on this cycle. I dont know if and when I ovulated 🤷‍♀️ but... its my work Christmas party on Friday so Im going to do one on Friday morning and just take it from there. Im due AF the following Mon or Tues but like Ive said, I dont know whats happened this month so all I can do is hope... 🤞🙏🌈 #Miscarriage #MiscarriageAwareness #1in4 #TTC #TTCafterMiscarriage #RainbowBaby #Ovulation

SCARE // . . . A few days before my next scheduled ultrasound we had a scare.. I woke up with what started out as just spotting but then later ended up with what looked more like a very light period. . . It was the first scare I had ever had so I didn’t really know if something had happened or if I had done something wrong, what I did know was that I was extremely scared... I drove straight to the hospital where they did a few tests - everything was normal. So they took me to have an ultrasound.... Everything was absolutely fine, baby girl was happy and growing nice and healthy۵ . . This was the last ultrasound picture we have of her at just over 12 weeks, and the last time I heard her little heart beat😔 It saddens me so much that this is the last image we have of her alive. . . Last night we sat in bed and studied this photo, trying to work out who she looked like the most, where her little fingers were sitting, her chin and her little bum with her cute little legs in the air۵🦋👼🏼 . . Definitely makes me want bub No.2 already!🌈 But oh how we wish we could see what you would look like now my darling۵🦋👼🏼

CHRISTMAS PARTY 🎄🎅🏻 . Nursery Christmas party ✅ Cheese and wine night ✅ One tired and emotional mummy✅ . Christmas is in full swing over here after a day packed full of the festive feels yesterday! And this one took it all in her stride with minimal moaning ❤️ and despite huge amounts of distraction and quite a blip in our toileting journey only 2 very small toileting accidents! #winning . Our day started with party prep followed by partying hard with friends, disco lights, father Christmas and numerous crafts (very proud to say all the glitter you see in this picture is glitter left from previous years... None new bought this year and once its gone, its gone!) followed by a cheeky trip to the pub with our lovely nursery team finished off with a cheese and wine night with family ❤️ If thats not festive, I dont know what is! . Of course, our day yesterday was bitter sweet..... A year ago we lost our baby, our much wanted, much loved baby and I spent my first night away from Arabella while in hospital. Needless to say I held her extra tight all day and night yesterday and I will continue to do so today as we remember our beautiful baby Ewan ❤️ #christmas #festivevibes #thisgirlthough #toddlerlife #iloveher #lovethisgirl #sogrownup #weekend #weekendvibes #mumlife #workingmum #friends #family #fatherchristmas #christmascrafts #christmasdress #thistimelastyear #babyEwan #ourstory #ourongingstory #babylossawareness #metoo #youarenotalone #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #babyloss #oneyearon

Lately Ive been reflecting on the past year...last December I was struggling to make peace with the little life we lost....I could not find a light in the dark...I felt hollow and hopeless. This year we are celebrating 3 months with our baby girl and giving thanks for the soul that helped to mend our broken hearts. So much can change in the space of 12 months....life is difficult, and beautiful, sometimes ugly, and extraordinarily complex. To anyone struggling through this season, we wish you healing. We wish you light. 🕯

You see this couple right here, they are living the life. Big houses, nice cars, great careers, blended families who get along, vacation when they want to, and where they want to. They are so fun together and light up a room when they arrive... So perfect right? What you don’t see is that they’ve almost divorced and almost gave up. They fought through insecurities, miscarriages, and mental illness. They dealt with infertility and they allowed anger to ruin them. They’ve said hurtful things, destroyed each other and cried many tears. Infertility has sucked the life out of them. The stress put such a strain on the marriage it almost fell apart. But the love is here, is real. Through the good and bad (we’ve had more bad days than good this year) they stood by each other. No marriage is perfect and life happens but it’s time for a change. If were going to make it as a couple, we needed to turn our focus back onto us. We literally just had this talk tonight. We had to get a better understanding of each other and make sure we’re on the same page. We have a few things we want to try, and I will update as we progress For couples struggling with mental illness, miscarriage, and infertility, try to move forward, and try to be sensitive to each other’s pain. Make time for each other at least once a week even if it’s for 30 minutes. Make it a priority appointment. No cancellations. Talk about the week and issues that have occurred. Communication is key and will help with a lot of misunderstandings. We all got this 💕 #ttc #ttcjourney #ttccommunity #fertility #fertilityjourney #infertility #miscarriage #IVF #ihadamiscarriage #support #infertilitysupport #unexplainedinfertility #infertilityjourney #infertilityawareness #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagesurvivor #miscarriagessuck #miscarriages #miscarriagesurvivor #infertilitycommunity #infertilitysucks #ivfjourney #ivfsuccess #ivfpregnancy #ivfcommunity #infertilitywarrior #postpartum #postpartumdepression #liveyourbestlife #babyloss

Four more days. Four more days and I’ll be flying through the sky, somewhere over Broome by now. To be frank, I’ll be asleep. I sleep like the dead on planes – I take extra blankets, heat pads, thick socks that reach up past my knees. I clean all the dirt from the airport away, wrap myself in my cocoon and snuggle down with London Grammar playing softly in my ears until I wake in another time and place. A friend of mine sent me this quote this afternoon. We’d been discussing my lack of enthusiasm over a final job interview I have scheduled for this coming week. I could do this job with my eyes closed, it’s in the industry that I have always loved, I know the team, and it pays $20k more than I’m currently earning. But I don’t want it. I thought my friend would be shocked. We’ve always been “career girls” and I thought she would talk me into doing it, finding that elusive passion I couldn’t quite locate. She wasn’t, she didn’t. “Of course you bloody don’t”, she laughed down the phone. “Are you mad?”. Its worth mentioning she is German, direct, sometimes difficult, which makes her one of my favourite people on the planet. “You have spent most of this year pregnant, miscarrying and/or grieving. For 10 of the 12 months you have been injecting artificial hormone into your belly or sticking it up places I don’t want to talk about. You have had two strokes, temporarily lost the sight in your right eye, been under general anaesthetic four times and still managed to win industry awards at work. Seriously, I repeat, are you mad?”. Fuck. So, yeah, when you put it like that, probably not the time to start a new job. (Continued in comments)

I had such a lovely Christmassy day yesterday, made me realise all the things I love about Christmas! I have often been asked why I left ttc again so long in between having my daughter. One reason is that I saw her as my miracle and the ttc wait with her was incredibly hard and I wasn’t ready to put myself through that again. And the second reason which is a very big reason, I do a lot of things by myself, my husband works pretty much every weekend and works long hours so I found when my daughter was born suffering with depression as I felt like a single parent. I honestly salute all single parents out there because it is extremely hard doing it all alone! Even now I find myself doing lots of things just me and my daughter, I mean I love it and it’s so much easier now as she’s older. And that’s another reason why now seems like the right time, my daughter often asks for a sibling and I know she will be a fantastic little helper for me! I’m ready, just need my body to do its thing! Come on rainbow baby, I’m waiting for you! #ttc #ttccommunity #ttcjourney #ttcsupport #ttcaftermiscarriage #ttcsisters #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagematters #miscarriagesucks #infertility #infertilityjourney #secondaryinfertility #fertility #pcos #pcossupport #pcosjourney #rainbowbaby #rainbowbaby🌈 #rainbow #christmas #singlemum #singlemom #chefwife

You may note a change to our page. Today marks 3 years since I knew my pregnancy was not going to be successful. The 11th marks 3 years since we were diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and I was taken to theatre. The page and all the campaigns have always been about creating awareness and trying to make others feel a little less isolated. It has all been in memory of our baby and it is fitting on his anniversary week that the pages new identity reflects this. The page will continue as before, I will endeavour to share stories and your experiences and we will work as one to create awareness around pregnancy loss. Much love to all, Kerri 🦋 #harrysbutterfly #pregnancyloss #babyloss #miscarriage #infantloss #ectopicpregnancy

An ectopic pregnancy can be frightening and confusing and may become a medical emergency. Sadly ectopic pregnancies cant continue because they are not growing in a place that can support them. This shocking loss can be made even more difficult if surgery was necessary, especially if that surgery has resulted in the loss of a fallopian tube or an ovary. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #ectopicpregnancy #ectopicpregnancyawareness #ectopicpregnancysupport #molarpregnancy #miscarriage #miscarriagematters #1in4 #miscarriagesupport #miscarriageawareness #beyondthesilence_ #beyondthesilencemelbourne #pregnancyloss #babyloss #babylossawareness #pregnancylosssupport #pregnancylossaustralia #pregnancylossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #creativeartstherapy #artstherapy #smallbizau #melbournebiz #melbournebusiness #melbournebusinesses #melbournebusinesswomen #pascoevalesouth #stillbirth #stillbirthawareness #stillbirthbreakthesilence #stillbirthsupport

Christmas gingerbread pancakes for breakfast requested by Babybel who has just woken from a record-breaking 14 hours sleep! #dairyfree #glutenfreerecipes modified from @weelicious

And here it is the day i dreaded most, the day that was supposed to be the best day of our lives, the day i met you. I cant put into words how much you would have been loved and how excited we were when we found out we were going to have you. But here we are and you were not meant for this world. I will never ever forget the joy you brought for just the shortest of times. #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #1in4 #babyloss #always #ttcsisters #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcsupport #love #loss #infertility #infertilitysucks #ttccommunity #ttcaftermiscarriage #babies #baby #infantloss #infertility #infertilitysucks #tryingtoconceive #grief #duedate #2018 #worstyearofmylife #family #TTC #pregnancy #pregnancyloss #pregnancysymptoms #mentalhealth

Its been a difficult 2years. Part of me never thought Id have this opportunity. 2years ago for that split second as I laid in bed and opened my eyes, everything was as normal as it needed to be . Thank you for Bobby ❤ #thankyou #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #2years #1in4

Moment of truth • It feels odd but I want to give my son a name but how do you name someone that was never even born? Id like to think he would have been a junior but I dont want to take that from my wasband. He recently met a woman he really likes & it doesnt feel appropriate to take that name.

Moment of truth • I miss my son every single day. Ive seen his shadow once. He watches me. My wasband and I tried to get pregnant for 2 years so you can only imagine what it would feel like to finally be pregnant with his baby just to have it taken from you. To heal I do what I do best, work. I engulfed myself in work so much I didnt realize how much I was still hurting until I flew hundreds of miles from home.

Moment of truth • In June 2018 I lost my son. Only a small handful of people knew I was pregnant so it was easy to keep it a secret. Then came The Rachel Renfro Show so I was so busy I never had time to feel it. During the first episode of the show my body was still bleeding. Hopefully that helps you see how committed I was to that show.

✨We have a WINNER!✨ . Congratulations to @pires6391 for winning our major prize!! . and we decided on a second runner up prize @lexisargeant - We have a little package coming with @innoscentbynature candle, @acurebeauty Seriously Soothing Cleansing Creme & our Ayana Rosequartz & lotus bracelet. ✨ . A huge thank-you to everyone that entered, we appreciate all the effort and follows for supporting small business. ❤️

14 weeks with my rainbow. The anxiety is real. Our first baby Ellie stopped growing at 15.5 weeks. The thought of the next few weeks fill my head with so much fear but I have to remember God is still God no matter what. His goodness never changes. 💛🤰🏼🌈 #rainbowbaby #PALS #lifeafterloss #pregnancy #grief #ttc #ttccommunity #lossmom #ihadamiscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #hope #love #faith

My sweet Ryland. I think about you everyday, I mean every single day . I try to stay quiet because I feel some people want me to forget about you. But when a love so huge grows inside of you it’s impossible to forget it, you can not tame it and I won’t ever try to. #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #ihadamiscarriage #mymissingpeace #angelmom #angelbaby👼

Written by those who have been devastated by loss or grief before, during, and after pregnancy, courageously told as only those who have suffered immense tragedy can… Comfort for the Tears takes you on an emotional journey into the lives of multiple families. Each account of pregnancy and infant loss, fertility struggles, and premature births is honest, raw and real, yet sensitive and compassionate. That moment I had feared for the past eight weeks became a reality. I vaguely remember hearing the words, “We have lost a heartbeat.” —Jessica Burdus Pregnancy is such an innate part of the human experience and occurs so frequently without complication. We hear all the announcements, reveals, and share the excitement with others but we rarely hear the risks, the losses, the pain, and the sadness that can be a part of someone’s pregnancy or birth. ―Dani Nix There was no movement, no heartbeat, no nothing. —Naomi Carpinteri This collective memoir provides support, guidance, and love through the incredibly hard times of grief. Find healing and solace as you join these parents. Be empowered and strengthened by their stories. Most importantly, learn to hope again. Presale starts NOW!!! Pre- Order your copy now! #mybabymatters #infantlossawareness #pregnancyandinfantloss #stillbirthawareness #infantloss #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #stillborn #stillbirth #stillbirthbreakthesilence #stillbirthawareness #stillbornstillloved #stillbornbutstillborn #stillbornawareness #stillbornbaby #angelbaby #babyboy #angelmama #stillamother #grief #love #loss

#Thankful to have held you 🙏🏽. To my guardian angel, today wouldve been your 2nd birthday. I appreciate women that have shared their journey and shed light on miscarriages as well infertility. I pray for all the families that are dealing with any issues trying to conceive and that they hopefully one day get to hold their baby in their arms .I was once told that I couldnt conceive . After a miscarriage and then a preterm labor delivery, I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. Dont lose faith because last year I delivered a healthy baby girl (full term) and currently headed into my 3rd trimester with another baby boy. Dont tell me God isnt able! I pray that my testimony can bring hope to others who may have lost faith on their journey. Love you my dear Bryson 😘❤️Love n light ✨ #pregnancyloss #miscarriageawareness #incompetentcervix #rainbowbaby #babyboy #faith #Godisable

#ProjectRobby will be sending me a cute little set for our little girl #PaizleyAddisonCooley. If you know of a mom who lost a baby, submit an app for them or direct them to this page. It’s FREE but you can make a donation like we did. I could make this myself but it’s the fact that someone that doesn’t even know us thinks Paizley mattered. I couldn’t help but donate!! 💗👶🏽 #stillamommy #mybabyexisted #saytheirnames #endthetaboo #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #rememberrobby #missedmiscarriage #miscarragehurts

There’s quite a story behind this ornament. 💔 It was handmade with love by my dear friend’s mother @stellawella3jc as a token of appreciation for the men and women who contributed to #brokenheartedhope —— She made them in memory of her grandson John Clayton. John Clayton would have been 5 years old this past week, and let me tell you that sweet baby touched more lives for Jesus than most do in a lifetime. His mommy, Crystal, hosted the launch event where we gave these away. Most of the ornaments were in the shape of an angel, but at the bottom of the box were these wings. I was drawn to them immediately. —— I wanted a way to honor the baby we had lost so I wrote down a date. Over the years, baby has turned into babies, and a date has turned into dates... dates that no one remembers but me, dates that sometimes bring grief, but dates that also have brought purpose and peace. —— 10.15.15 ... I experienced my first miscarriage on pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. I was one in four, literally. My 3 best friends from high school were pregnant at the same time and I joined the 25% of women who’ve experience this loss. While it hurt, there was no coincidence. I felt like God gave me purpose in my pain. —— 10.05.17 ... Two years later, as I was putting the finishing touches on the book, I experienced our second loss. As I edited and read each page, I needed the words just as much as any other reader. I had fresh perspective and purpose. There was peace through the pain. It was like God knew I’d need the book and the community it brought. —— 12.06.17 ... A week before, my doctor told me I would be experiencing loss once again; that I could expect for it to happen within 24 hours. But my body held on to it — something I desperately wanted and didn’t want to let go. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I realized it was the same exact day four years prior that sweet baby John Clayton had gone to be with Jesus. I immediately felt peace. I knew that baby was with Jesus and JC. —— 01.11.18 ... This year as we decorated the tree, I had another date to add. To be honest with this one I was mad. Upset that my body kept betraying me. (Continued in comments...)

#mythoughts #sadness #never #forget

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