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Why do I feel so broken though? Trying to keep it together but really limiting my intake and still feel normal so I know my weight is going down because I saw my doc today. I just don’t know what to do because I love that my weight is going down but feeling good can only last for so long. #ana #anorexia #recovery #edrecovery #edfam #restrictingcalories #restricting

🍕Restricting your fav foods🍪 - You’ve been restricting calories, restricting all the yummy treats you want the past few days... and end up over indulging. Does this sound like you? 🤔 - What happens when you keep bouncing your calories all over the place? - Low cal -> high cal -> super low cal -> and the viscous cycle continues 🔄 - Progress will take forever this way 🤷🏻‍♀️ - Restriction leads to over indulging most of the time, so why not try something different? - When you allow yourself to have those foods you like in moderation, it helps you not over indulge because you can literally have that food whenever you want. - It’s a lifestyle, not a diet 🤘🏼 - 👇🏼👇🏼 Have you ever been in that cycle of restricting -> over indulging?? I know I have. _____________________________ #restrictingcalories #lowcal #lowcarb #moderation #healthyeats #lifestyle #notanotherdiet #dietssuck #cardio #highcarb #sustainableweightloss #weightloss #losefat #burnfat #fatloss #gymtime #workouttime #notime #busy #abs #toned #liftingweights #gainmuscle #foodfreedom #healthylifestyle

Mood... Todays my birthday and Im just feeling more dead then ever. My mask must of slipt cause a coworker asked me yesterday if I was okay , cause I looked super sad. So I lied and told them it was period pains. I mean its not really a lie but it wasnt the truth.. Then my dad came over and acted all fucking nice , even slept over then when he left for work he was all sweet It made me more depressed and angry.. I just want to go to sleep forever. ||Unless Tags|| #ednosdiary #ednos #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anxiety #bulimia #bingeeatingdisorder #depression #diet #fooddiary #majordepressiondisorder #mentalillness #restrictingcalories #tiredofliving #tiredoftrying #unhealthyweightloss #weightloss #anorexic #bulimic #osfed #bodydysmorphia #majordepressivedisorder #deadinside

Back up to 173!!! I hate myself! I was with my boyfriend over the weekend and went back to my old eating habits and gained quite a bit. I wont see him for another 6 weeks so I plan to lose and much as possible before then. #loseweightfast #waterfasting #fasting #restrictingcalories #wanttobeskinny #hatemybody #needtoloseweight #needtogetbackontrack #imfat #stressed

at least now i’ll have a somewhat better option when the cravings take over. - - - - #lowcalorie #lowkcal #ricecakes #pizza #cheese #greentea #herbtea #smörgåsrån #countingcalories #restricting #restrictingcalories #eatingdisorder #ed #food #organised #cravings #binge

Eat smart not less. Most fiest are a calorie restriction program. Thats why they dont work. Restricting calories only results in weight gain in the long run. #eatsmart #eatsmarter #weightloss #eatcleandiet #eatcleanfood #restrictingcalories #uoitstudentlife #uoit

Yum 😋 I was so ready for this!! • Weight watchers salmon & broccoli bake, new potatoes, steamed veg & asparagus tips!! • #restrictingcalories #caloriedeficit #caloriecounting #octobergoals #fatgirltofitgirl #gunit #dietfood #letsdothis #foodporn #loseweight #weightlossjourney #weightloss

Its the nurse in me - I can’t help it!! 💉 As well as the weight loss benefits, I can’t wait to see the health benefits of clean eating!!! #cleaneating #octobergoals #fatgirltofitgirl #restrictingcalories #caloriedeficit #healthgoals #healthjourney #gunit #weightlossjourney #weightloss #letsdothis

So day six begins - in all honesty I feel AWESOME!! I feel full of energy !! I do however have a problem, I’m struggling to drink enough!! Today I’ve added fruit to my water in the hope it will encourage me to drink more!! 💦 #daysix #water #hydration #caloriedeficit #restrictingcalories #loseweight #fatgirltofitgirl #weightloss #weightlossmotivation #weightlosschallenge #octobergoals #letsdothis #gunit

If you’re wondering why my calories are so high, it’s because I chose to take this first week of counting to use my maintenance weight calories as a view into how much I’m overeating. . When making my own meals and being mindful, it’s pretty hard for me to hit the calories it takes to maintain my weight. The only time I’m hitting them is when I eat out and have fast food. It’s not surprising, but it’s an eye opener. . I’m also keep little notes in these books, things I’m feeling. I’ll share some: “1. I’m finding it hard to hit my daily maintenance cals - maybe because it’s way too much.” “2. I can tell I still get frantic with food while paying attention. Need to rewire my thoughts. I need help.” - feeling frantic while paying attention to food is a left over from my days of starving myself. It’s not a part of me anymore, but it’s very much there. As soon as I can I’m going to go to therapy. I’m happy I see these necessities. . . #chronicillnesswarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #starvationdiet #restrictingcalories #caloriecounting #keepingtrack #rewiringmythinking

It can be tough to count calories when you’ve suffered from starvation diets in the past. It’s difficult to break that loop that can turn into obsessive counting, restricting, and even competition with the self to see how little you can eat or how much weight you can lose. I do think it’s good to track calories if you’re working to rewire and keep track of your nutrition, especially if you’re working to break a cycle of overeating or under-eating. . In the past I was overweight, then I suffered from anorexia and bulimia, and now I am overweight again. Very overweight. I do have to mind my habits when counting calories and take stock of my thoughts while doing so. I feel that I’m in a good enough place where I can count calories to get ahold of what I’m putting into my body. I’ve been out of control with eating, maybe my whole life, but especially lately through my chronic illness. It’s been an unfortunate event that I was not prepared to deal with, and I’m, unfortunately, wired to use food as a solve-all. I’m working to change that. Counting calories this time around has been an enjoyable teaching that makes me feel like I have more control over my health. The idea of feeling “control” when it comes to eating is something I need to examine more, but it is one more step in the direction of mindfulness when it comes to my health. . . I’m using field books to keep track of cals and other things, if you’re wondering about the cute tiny notebook! Got a whole pack on Amazon. . . #chronicillness #chronicillnesswarrior #chronicillnessdiet #healingfromchronicillness #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderdiary #restrictiveeating #restrictingcalories #depression #keepgoing #wegotthis #mealplan #countingcalories #health #nutrition

NOT DRINKING ENOUGH WATER • • When your body is in the fasted state it starts to break down damaged components and detoxifies the body. It is very important that you flush out those toxins by drinking lots of water. Your aim for water intake should be around 4 LITERS , most of that during your fasting period. • • #intermittentfasting #feedingwindows #hunger #hormones #water #IF&KETO #ketonutrition #ketofood #gethealthy #progressnotperfection #ketogeniclifestyle #restrictingcalories #ketosis #ketones #nutritionalketosis #ketofiedmovement #jeddah #riyadh #dammam #ksa #saudiarabia

OBSESSING OVER TIMINGS & FEEDING WINDOWS • • One of the main benefits of IF is teaching you to become completely in tune with your body and understand what I call “real hunger” – something that occurs every 16-24 hours, not every 4 hours. • • Your body should dictate when you should eat, not only the clock. • • If you focus on time periods, you end up counting down the hours until you can eat. • • Listen to your body • • #intermittentfasting #feedingwindows #hunger #hormones #water #IF&KETO #ketonutrition #ketofood #gethealthy #progressnotperfection #ketogeniclifestyle #restrictingcalories #ketosis #ketones #nutritionalketosis #ketofiedmovement #jeddah #riyadh #dammam #ksa #saudiarabia

EXCERCISING, UNDEREATING & FASTING ALL AT ONCE • • If you have spent a number of years eating badly and not exercising and you would like to try IF, don’t do everything at once. • • Ease yourself into fasting and training gradually; don’t start training five times per week, fasting every day and restricting calories . • • The combination can lead to adrenal fatigue. Your body thrives with a little bit of physical stress here and there but too much stress can become a problem. • • #intermittentfasting #feedingwindows #hunger #hormones #water #IF&KETO #ketonutrition #ketofood #gethealthy #progressnotperfection #ketogeniclifestyle #restrictingcalories #ketosis #ketones #nutritionalketosis #ketofiedmovement #jeddah #riyadh #dammam #ksa #saudiarabia

TRYING TO CALORIE RESTRICT DURING THE FEEDING WINDOW • • One of the main issues that some people face when they start IF is that they continue to calorie restrict when they have broken their fast. • • The whole point of eating in this way is to listen to your body and start eating until you feel full. • • Your body is an amazing machine, if you allow it to do its job properly. Your body will release hormones to make you feel full when it knows it’s had enough food. • • If you calorie restrict during your eating window you may well end up under eating which causes lots of unwanted changes in the body, and long term is not good for you. • • #intermittentfasting #feedingwindows #hunger #hormones #water #IF&KETO #ketonutrition #ketofood #gethealthy #progressnotperfection #ketogeniclifestyle #restrictingcalories #ketosis #ketones #nutritionalketosis #ketofiedmovement #jeddah #riyadh #dammam #ksa #saudiarabia

INTERMITTENT FASTING COMMON MISTAKES • • AN EXCUSE TO EAT ANYTHING • • People think that intermittent fasting is a magic pill that will solve all their problems. • • Yes, it is an incredibly effective tool to take control of your health and loose weight but it won’t cancel out eating a diet full of processed foods and carbohydrates. • • When you are doing IF it is even more important to nourish your body with nutrient dense, whole foods. • • When you are in the fasted state, your body starts to break down damaged components and then uses them for of energy, this process cleans and heals the body. • • #intermittentfasting #feedingwindows #hunger #hormones #water #IF&KETO #ketonutrition #ketofood #gethealthy #progressnotperfection #ketogeniclifestyle #restrictingcalories #ketosis #ketones #nutritionalketosis #ketofiedmovement #jeddah #riyadh #dammam #ksa #saudiarabia

I finally got my shot together and made a place to keep track of what I’m doing and non food rewards. (Minus wine but meh) point systems work for me because I always want all the points haha #weightloss #weighlossjournal #diet #dairyfree #dyefree #restrictingcalories

Intuitive Eating Food doesn’t have to be weighed. Food doesn’t have to be measured. Food doesn’t have to be entered in a food app. Food is only energy. It’s not your enemy, it’s not your demon. You will not become obese if you feel full after one meal. It took me a long time to realize this. It took me a long time to recover as well. Jumping from restriction to eating everything in front of me. Yes yes, I know the feeling. And you can know it too. What’s stopping you? The fear? Fear of changing? Fear of success? Fear of failing? You’re stopping yourself my love. As soon as you believe you can, nothing will ever stop you. One step at a time, one day at a time. You’re not magic nor perfect, you’ll fall again. But it’s okay, you’re strong enough to pick yourself up 🔝

Does anyone have any idea of why I have had chest pain since 2pm today? (Now 8:50pm) It hurts to breathe and move. Ive done no exercise today or any other day that has caused chest pain... 😶 -t0xic_bitch1 #anorexic #anorexia #restrictingcalories #fat #weightloss #weight #eatingdisorder #exercise #thighgap #bones #food #fatty #depression #underweight #diet #mentalillnessawareness #anorexianervosa #ocd #ptsd #generalisedanxietydisorder #sexualassault #victim #psychiatrist #psychevaluation #skinny #goals

9/1/18 Its been exactly 9 months and I havent really done shit with my life. Me and my mom are probably going to get kicked out of this house. Cause the landlord is being a ass and harassing us. I cant find my scale battery and thats giving me anxiety. Im scared that Ive gained. I have work at 4 and I dont want to go, i just want to die but I know I cant cause I need the money. ||Unless Tags|| #ednosdiary #ednos #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anxiety #bulimia #bingeeatingdisorder #depression #diet #fooddiary #majordepressiondisorder #mentalillness #restrictingcalories #tiredofliving #tiredoftrying #unhealthyweightloss #weightloss #anorexic #bulimic #osfed #bodydysmorphia

Hands up anyone? 🙋🏼‍♀️ God I was the worst at this. I’d eat something like a chocolate bar and immediately ransack the house in some massive bid to really sabotage all progress. I didn’t even enjoy the chocolate half the time, mid way through i’d already be running through the thoughts on the left. It still amazes me to what extent food ruled my life. Has anyone else been through this or felt this? If you do then you’re not alone, so many women struggling and to the more rational eater it may all seem a bit exaggerated but it’s actually very real 💜 #eatwhenhungry #selfsabotage #selflove#selfloathing #weightloss #dietplan #restrictingcalories #dietstartsmonday #diets #healyourself #weightlossideas #loseweightnow #bingeeating #bingeeater #disorderedeating #disorderedeatingrecovery #dietsdontwork #nutritioncoaching #nutritioncoach #foodcoach #weightlosscoach #weightlosscoaching #weightlosscoachingworks

Ending the night with Subway. 6” turkey on flatbread, no cheese, veggies, light mayo. Bag of Cheetos. Total: 490 calories

Just a little piece...and every little piece including the cheese was yummy! 92 calories!

At 40 calories a pop who can resist! SF Fudge Pop!

3 ingredient power snack for the week. Bananas, oatmeal, and Peanut Butter. 77 calories a piece! 🙌🏽

Meal 1 of the day: Popeyes Chicken Breast, 1/2 serving of mash potatoes, a few fries, and half a biscuit. 690 total calories! 👍🏼

My first post! Doing this thing called Calorie Counting cause after years of dieting I’ve realized that it’s calories in vs out and that moderation is key. It’s what will help me stay on track. So this was lunch... #chickfillawrap and boy was it good. 340 calories plus half the dressing 40 calories. 🙌🏽

First meal of the day - Tofu Scramble —- —- —- —- ❌TW❌Yesterday I only had a pot pie (440), coffee (300?), and a few snacks (maybe 200?). So I felt good about the day. So far ive only had the tofu scramble (320) and I’ve done a 15 minute yoga session that I’m still sweating from haha. Anxious about other food for today but we’ll see 🤷🏼‍♀️ —- —- —- #eatingdisorder #edrelapse #atypicalanorexia #restricting #anarelapse #edfam #restrictingcalories #eatingdisorderrelapse

You know that meme that has been going around that says, Do you ever look back at old photos where you thought you were fat and now you actually are fat wishing you were fat like back then? . I fucking hate that meme. . Why? Because I relate to it SO HARD. And to relate to that while Im actively trying to rid myself of diet culture just made me plummet into a pit of I will never get this brainwashing of desired thinness out of my head. . And then it hit me. . I have been striving for a thinner body this entire time. Even when I was in a smaller body, I never apprecuated my smaller-than-today body because I still believed that I was living in a bigger body. . I was socialized into believing that fat was something to be so deathly afraid of that no matter how small I became, it was never enough. . I became obsessed with what foods went in my body, and over exercising to the point where Id finish a workout at 12am, only to wake up four hours later to do another one. . All this obsessive and intrusive thoughts on being smaller only put my hormones out of whack (more than they already were with PCOS), which only made me gain more weight, which only made me hate my body more, which only led to me being more restrictive, which would lead to binges on the weekend before my next restrictive diet. . Even if I was part of the 5% that is successful with diets...Id still believe that I wasnt small enough. Id still believe that being fat was something to be deathly afraid of and that I needed to work on being smaller. . But, I need to realize that being so fatphobic is what got me sick in the first place. It is what made me judge other people for not looking the way society says they should; it is what made me never appreciate and take care of my body, because over exercising and restrictive eating is n o t appreciating or respecting my body; and it is what led me to hate myself. . This meme, while problematic, illustrates how pervasive our thin-obsession is. We will never be thin enough because there is no such thing. . Focus on YOUR health. . Respect your body at *every* size. Not just the thin kind. Nourish yourself, move for pleasure, and love yourself.

i’m gonna try to make some kinda of bullet journal. i don’t have a notebook with dots but i got a new one with lines so it’ll have to work anyways. i started with a habit tracker for september so i’ll just fill the box in when i do a certain thing. i hope it’ll be pretty even tho i don’t have that kinda of book and barely any pens - - - - #bulletjournal #tryingbulletjournalling #writing #handwriting #habittracker #september #setup #goals #tasks #workout #hydration #planning #organising #sleeping #reading #tracking #2018 #newgoals #restrictingcalories #restricting #eatingdisordered #dots #squares #ruler #lines

i found a shirt i made a while ago in sewing class. it’s a lace crop top that was supposed to be for a two piece dress but i changed my mind. also i haven’t posted a body check for a while so there it is. it’s from sunday so a few days ago. - - - - #bodycheck #eatingdisorder #ed #black #white #blackandwhite #croptop #skirt #lace #lacecroptop #mirrorpic #legs #belly #stomach #restricting #restrictingcalories #eating #swedish #wannabeskinny #wannabepretty #ugly #fat #disgusting #binging #red #redhead #ginger

Not me—— I wish I looked like this 😔since February I’ve lost close to 80 lbs. I want to get down to 120 lbs so that means 20 more pounds must go. The past two weeks I haven’t been as strict because I was moving out last week then this week I’m going to see my boyfriend. I know he will want to eat out. But as soon as I get back. I’m going to restrict myself. I hate being fat, I hate feeling disgusted by food. The only way to fix it is control. #restrictingcalories #anorexia #fearofeating #eatingdisorderproblems #disorderedeating #loseweight

So I weighed myself today, thinking I was going to be around 55kg-56kg, but it turns out Im 54kg!!! Makes me feel a fuck ton better knowing the number on the scale has gone down 😊 My goal is to get down to 52kg as quick as I possibly can. -t0xic_bitch1 #anorexic #anorexia #restrictingcalories #fat #weightloss #weight #eatingdisorder #exercise #thighgap #bones #food #fatty #depression #underweight #diet #mentalillnessawareness #anorexianervosa #ocd #ptsd #generalisedanxietydisorder #sexualassault #victim #psychiatrist #psychevaluation #skinny #goals

×I want tattos so bad , i just love them.× So yesterday we went to Walmart to find me a pair of pants and to buy me some shoes. The shoes I have my family hates(cause they are falling apart and I guess they dont want to be seen with someone who doesnt have nice shoes.) Anyways the pants I go was jeggings and when I got home I tried them in and my self esteem went so fucking low , I wanted to cry.. Why did I have to let myself be so damn fat!!!! Why couldnt I just stuck with what I was doing. Im so damn tired of all this. ×××××× Also we like only 500 for rent and we are sort 250 so we have to somehow come up with that. So Im really hoping to get this job, but would they even let a fat ugly person be a hostesses???. Ugh!!! Why was I born this way!! ||Unless Tags|| #ednosdiary #ednos #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anxiety #bulimia #bingeeatingdisorder #depression #diet #fooddiary #majordepressiondisorder #mentalillness #restrictingcalories #tiredofliving #tiredoftrying #unhealthyweightloss #weightloss #anorexic #bulimic #osfed #bodydysmorphia

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